Mental Illness Support/awareness Thread

Discussion in 'Pandora's Box' started by Papageorgio, Aug 14, 2014.

  1. well, now the urge is fucking strong today. so now i'm trying to do anything and eveything i can to distract myself. fucking fuck.

    ....the good news is i've deleted over 45k emails.

    sleeping didn't work. cleaning didn't work. nothing's helping.
     
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  2. Yep life sucks but, at least I got shelter.
     
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  3. It's not a good day today. Nothing is working. It started out good, I went to the dispo today and stuff but then it went downhill from there. Even tho it was gorgeous out all day, and I did go into the yard and enjoy the sun, I couldn't do anything else. Just didn't have it in me. My head isn't happy. And even weed isn't working for me rn.
    Hopefully it will at some point.
     
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  4. Been bad, Saturn makes your mind break in pieces
    Been bad, so you cannot find the dimensions
    But it will be around these spots that I've given to you
    You will know that you'll breathe my vapors every time that you pass through this room



    (For the nth time)
     
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  5. Feeling better today than last time I posted in here. Helps that we have nice weather AND I got my stimulus check. These little outside blessings make the struggle with mental illness just a little easier.
    I'm trying to be careful with my spending...just dropped a bunch of money yesterday and today. Gotta be careful not to go manic with it. It took me a long time to learn how to manage my money, I want to keep that going. Anyway that's where I'm at today. I hope all of you are doing as well as you can!!! :)
     
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  6. My Bipolar Been Having My Mood Swings Up an Down Drastically Alot Lately.. Sometimes Manic an Really Happy Other Times Just Feelin Staying in The Basement an Sleeping All Day from Being Depressed. It Sucks but I Guess that's Life. Thank God My Kids An My Boo Give Me Someting to Live for Everyday.





    ~Toni~
     
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  7. Every time I come home
    I get into
    Tiny funks
    Hard to get out of
    ...
    Whenever I have a good time
    I just miss my suffering

    I am the oppressor
    I am the oppressor

     
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  8. Where is my mind?

     
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  9. I also experience episodes of anxiety and depression and the nights when I can't sleep are the worse. I try to avoid synthetic medication because there are times that I feel really bad like I cry for no specific reason, irritable, and just angry. It's worse when I can't sleep. I know it will be really bad for me to start synth meds which is why I'm interested in keeping my own grass.
     
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  10. Sometimes the shit I see on TV, go through at work really just makes me want to run away from society and live the rest of my life as a hermit in the woods.
     
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  11. Same, x1000. Everything is good in the wood.
     
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  12. I wish. That would be so nice!
     
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  13. I'm not in the best of places today. I live with skitzo affective disorder on the bipolar spectrum, and ptsd. I've shared this before but weed is one of my medications for that. I'm on the medical marijuana program in my state. But rn the marijuana isn't working for me bc I'm tolerant. So I have to take a break. Doing without my medication like this is not good but if I smoke it, I'm just wasting good weed bc it's not having any effect on me. Yesterday I started a T break and I almost made it thru the day without smoking, but then I was having trouble sleeping last night. So I came downstairs and vaped some indica. Nothing. I eventually was able to get to sleep, thankfully but I hope by the end of this week at least that I can start getting the full benefits of weed again. It's not only just the high it's some of the other things it does like calm me down and quiet my mind. Rn I feel like I felt before I started with the weed. It was doing so much good! It calmed me down and I felt centered, and then all this stuff in my head would open up to me...issues I was avoiding...and I could see all of it right before my eyes. But I didn't mind it, didn't want to turn away. I wanted to know. I wanted to learn. So I watched it, and I saw little ways to help myself figure this or that out. It's changed my relationships with my family...it's so much better...and my marriage has drastically improved from it too. Everything just works now. But with this tolerance it just feels like I'm back where I started. Well I'll just get thru this week best I can and hopefully by Saturday things start to improve. Thanks for listening, folks. Hope you're all doing well and hanging in!
     
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  14. I'm the same. I also would love to have a nice big house on a private beach. I love the ocean.
     
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  15. I have similar contradictions. I absolutely hate the society I live in and also hate how ridiculous I feel when my brain forces me to live in a fake reality (especially when a mental episode takes place while I’m out shopping or out with friends) yet at the same time I cannot help but to feel nothing but complete gratitude for every single second of my stupid little life! The feelings are very contradictory and most of the time I have absolutely no idea how to handle it or what to do with this sense of apathetic compassion I have for my ridiculous excuse for a life. But I keep going because within all of this stupidity as I mentioned earlier I still feel so grateful for my stupid little existence on this planet.
     
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  16. Nobody's existence on the planet is stupid. You belong here like everyone else. But I understand. Yeah I got the whole fake reality thing in spades too lol. I hate being out in the world, not knowing if something will happen to set me off. So I feel you. All we can do is the best we can. Gratitude is a great healer. Just listing all the good things that happen for us and the people who care about us, can lift us so much.
    Hang in! :)
     
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  17. Goddamn
    Reading this had me feeling like I wrote it (except the skitzo part)

    Just curious, have you tried RSO or FECO?

     
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  18. #1978 HazelMoon, Apr 15, 2021
    Last edited: Apr 15, 2021
    No I never tried them before but they sound pretty amazing. I'm not sure if I can get them at my medical weed dispos but I guess it can't hurt to ask. Thanks for the suggestions!
     
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  19. Well I got thru yesterday AND last night not having any weed. I'm so happy I was able to sleep without it! I hate being dependent on anything for sleep, but I need my sleep at night or I can't function at all. I feel more encouraged that I can get thru this break until Saturday. Even feel calmer than I did yesterday. Somehow I just accepted that this is my lot rn, gotta go without weed for awhile until it works for me again. Anyway thanks for listening to me and I hope everyone is doing okay! :)
     
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  20. I Think I Might Need a Different meds Soon im Going to tell me My Therapist because I Been Hearing alotta Voices an Noises Lately an IK They just in My head but it Bothers me very Muchly It Sucks.




    ~Toni~
     
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