Oh I understand that sis...I have voices and audio/visual hallucinations myself. It was particularly strong yesterday. I hope you're able to get some better meds sis and everything gets better! <3
Thank You KK. I don't Really have any Visual Ones My Self Just Audio Ones. I Sorry you were Not feelin It yesterday tho sis. I Hope today is Better for you. Thank For the Kind Words. <33333 Some Nights Good Some Not at all... Its Like I Have Insomnia at Random Nights I Think or Just Too Hyper to Relax My Mind maybe. You Think that Could Be Why Papa? ~Toni~
Ohhh...What do you Hear? The Main Ting is I m Taking Meds for Being Bipolar an Schizophrenic so this Kinda stuff Not Supposed to be Happening. It is Irritating an im Going to Have My Mama Talk to my Therapist about it Maybe get Me some Better meds. ~Toni~
It sounds like there's people talking outside. I go to look and theres no one there. I can never make out any words, its pretty hushed. Its been a few years since that happened.
Day 3 of T break. Still having some trouble with the voices but I'm just letting my head get its yayas out and trying not to do too much, just chill. Tomorrow I can start with the weed again. Icw! The other thing was, I was talking to the dispo pharmacist and she said that a couple of my meds could also be interfering with the effects of the marijuana. I have an appointment on Monday with my psychiatrist and I think I'm going to be upfront with him about the medical marijuana and what it does for me. I think I may ask him to take me off of some of the other meds that are interfering. It'll be a challenging conversation bc idk how he'll respond to this request. I mean...he knows I use medical weed but I'm not sure how he'll be about me wanting it to be one of my main meds. Bc of the stigma and all. But I'm going to be honest with him anyway. He might surprise me by being really understanding. Anyway that's where I'm at rn, I hope all of you are doing well wherever you are!
Ohhh...that's Good its Been a few Years Papa I Hope you stay that way. With me it Sounds like a Bunch of People all Talking at Once an I cant really Make Out Anyting Specific. ~Toni~
Hi Sis I Sorry you are Suffering With this rn. I Hope you an Your Psychiatrist can get the Problem Solved. I Write you on FB too KK. ~Toni~
Well I'm back! T break is over. That was horrible tho, I'll have to figure out coping mechanisms for next time I have to go thru this shit lol. I ended up coming downstairs at 1AM this morning and smoking some indica off my bong bc I could not sleep. I was tossing and turning, and I wanted to be awake and alert for my husband's birthday today. Well it felt great when the weed hit me and I even went into a sort of trance. Memories of me and my mom when I was a little kid. Flowers, lots of flowers, white flowers, yellow flowers, purple flowers, etc. My mom used to take me to parks when I was little and she once wore this gorgeous floral dress and we were out in the flowers and it was so warm outside. All of this came back to me at 1AM lol. Anyway it was a great relief, and I did end up getting to sleep afterwards. Now I am still pleasantly stoned after vaping over 2 hours ago. Anyway I hope every one of you are doing okay today! Take good care, and thanks for listening to me.
I'm Super Depressed Today...Just Full of Bad Thoughts. I Am Going to Go To The Park With My Kids sn Hubby an Hope They Cheer Me Up. ~Toni~
Letting go is hard; all because of this pathological need I have to spare everyone's feelings except my own. Fuck that. It's time.
So I talked to my psychiatrist yesterday about the T break I took last week and how hard it was. I asked him if he could prescribe some other meds that would help me along for whenever I have to take a T break again. Don't want to depend on just one thing. So he gave me an anti anxiety med that I think might work. I have to take it at night tho, I took it yesterday and it knocked me out lol. Overall it was a good talk, he understood the importance of medical marijuana in my life and is working with me, even lowering one of the other meds that was interfering with the weed. So I feel really good about being honest with him, and glad it paid off. I'm feeling a lot better lately. Not nearly as fragile as before. I hope everyone else is doing ok! Thinking about y'all.
@HazelMoon Congrats Sis! ILY <33333 I Told My Therapist as Much as I Could Today. I Wish We Had More Times tho. I Told Her About How My Cousin Chelsea Death Still Making Me Feel Horrible Alot an How on Sunday an Monday I was Feelin Suicidal Too! On Those Days The Only Ting That Keep Me Here was My Family. I Could Have Easily Just Took My Self Out Believe Me it was Very Tempting. I Don't Feel Like that Anymore RN At least tho. She Said Alotta Encouraging Stuff to Me too but ima Keep it to My Self tho. I Feel Better Today so I Hope it Lasts The Only Ting Wrong today Isa Headache. ~Toni~