From antisocial to social for women?

Discussion in 'Sex, Love & Relationships' started by ColdToker420, Feb 24, 2021.

  1. I'm 25 year old guy and never had a girlfriend. Pretty much the few (less than 5) times in my life that I've tried to take my social/sex life serious from teen age to young adulthood, it didn't end the way expected due to rejection or just falling short; this made me an introverted shut in over the years.

    Fast forward to quarantine times and the same me is a little more aware of natural human urges and desires for companionship. I have male friends and family who I guess you can type-set as the "ladies man" and I'd be lying to myself and anyone reading this if I said I didn't feel a little jealous that they can be so naturally good with women.

    TLDR: I consider myself the opposite of a ladies man. But lately I've wanted to be more socially (and potentially sexually) active with women. The problem is I'm an introvert with shy, standoff-ish tendencies and that's always in the back of my mind when I'm around women that I find attractive. Is it worth it to put effort into being a guy who fucks when I have little to no experience? Or should just keep playing video games?
     
  2. video games are definitely safer
     
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  3. its not as hard as u think, u gotta get comfortable while being uncomfortable. and you gotta lose a lot b4 u win
     
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  4. #4 Patricia Clemons, Feb 24, 2021
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 24, 2021
    And try to do it without a lawyer! Because they'll get theirs. If you have 300k of assets between, just know lawyer will get 100k atleast of that!

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  5. Trust me stop seeking. Let them come to you man. If they don't they don't. There is no magic way to attract women believe me dude. All you can do is get lucky really.
     
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  6. This.

    Sometimes you just have to put yourself out there and go outside your comfort zone.

    Honestly, it is a healthy thing to put yourself outside of your comfort zone in many different aspects of life.

    And lastly, its better to try and be unsuccessful, then to not try at all.
     
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  7. I'm okay with losing. Years of playing Video games taught me you gotta suck and keep on sucking.
    Stepping out of my comfort zone ain't east as it was when I was younger and ready for everything though. I appreciate the input.


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  8. just remember that confidence is more important than anything, including looks.

    Your body language is the biggest tell-tale sign of your confidence in yourself. Years ago, someone here on GC was talking about that and I will always remember that they used Brad Pitt in Fight Club as an example and still to this day, I believe that is the perfect example of self confidence and body language.
     
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  9. So while I stop seeking and wait, I feel a lot of potential one night stands and even relationship opportunities pass me by. And that's okay cuz my luck can change? Is that what you're getting at?


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  10. Miss 100% of the shots you don't take right?
    Do you have experience stepping out of your comfort zone? What made you try it?


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  11. Also, keep in mind, whats the worst that can happen by putting yourself out there? It doesn't work out? Well then you are in no worse of a spot then you were before u tried, but now you have something to learn from.

    Bro, I have flirted with chicks and tried getting their numbers or whatever and got turned down for different reasons. Sometimes they had a boyfriend already... Sometimes they just weren't looking for anything romantic... but you know what they all had in common? They were all flattered and for me, though I didn't get the girl, I got to have fun flirting and it made me feel like a badass for even trying, because most guys won't try in the first place.

    Remember, you try, you fail. You try, you fail. But the only time you truly fail is when you stop trying!!!
     
  12. Exactly.

    I try to step out of my comfort zone as often as i can. What made me try it? I like to challenge myself and over coming fears... I hate having the thought of what if I had tried instead of pussing out.

    I used to just settle for chicks that were just meh at best and then I realized my self worth and that I deserve what I truly desire and have gotten with girls that back in the day, I would have never thought I had the chance with and therefore would never have even talked to, let alone tried to get with them.

    And with stepping out of my comfort zone, I don't just mean with girls. I mean with as much stuff in life as possible.

    I used to be terrified to do public speaking in front of a crowd and now, although I am admittedly not the best at it and still get a tad bit nervous at first, I can do a pretty good job at speaking in front of a crowd of 20,30 sometimes even 40 ppl, most of whom I do not know. And that feeling of nervousness at first, that I mentioned, well that goes away fairly quickly after I start...same thing with talking to chicks, sure it can be a bit nerve racking at first, but it goes away once you really get to talking/flirting.

    Having a fear of rejection is natural, but you cannot let it stop you. I would rather try and end up being turned down, then to never even bother to try and just wonder what could have possibly happened if I had tried. Its kinda like that saying "it is better to have loved and lost, then to have never loved at all."
     
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  13. Just keep swing that pickle dude. Rejection ain't so bad. Id rather take a shot to get my wood wet than beat off.
     
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  14. Yeah man, as much as I hate saying it, it’s a numbers game. You take the losses with the wins. Worst someone can say is no. Just be yourself, be polite, be chivalrous, and be respectable. Find someone with common interests also helps. But then opposites can and sometimes do attract
     
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  15. My posture is trash bro haha. But I can see where you're coming from. I think a woman with her head held high and a pep in her step is so damn sexy


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  16. What was fun about flirting ? Did you like the interaction cuz you got to make a girl feel good? Even if it didn't end with you getting her number ?


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  17. While you are thinking correctly, there is a lot more to it...

    For example, in a totally non homosexual way, think about seeing two guys sitting down somewhere.

    Imagine one, sitting there with his feet tucked under the seat and his arms crossed, head down looking towards the ground or at his hands and never really making any eye contact with anyone and if he does, he breaks it real quickly.

    Now Imagine the other dude sitting there, leaning back in his seat, not giving a fuck and making himself comfortable. He has his arms stretched out on the seats beside him and his feet in front of him, maybe even one foot up on a table or another seat. Head up, maybe even set back slightly and examining the room with his eyes with which he makes and holds eye contact with during a conversation.

    Now which one of those two guys is more noticeable? Which ones body language says: confidence? Which one are not just women, but ppl in general more likely to flock towards?
     
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  18. When you are flirting with someone with whom you vibe with, its just an all around fun exoerience...you tend to feed off of eachothers energy and the conversation flows very well and easily... for me, the best part is the exchange of laughs with a girl... there is no better feeling in the world than having someone to laugh with.

    Even if you don't get a number or nothing comes of it, it just makes you feel like a badass to know that most guys don't have the balls to hit on or flirt with a girl, but you did, even if it doesn't workout in your favor.

    And of course making a girl feel flattered is a good feeling...anytime ANYONE gets flirted with or hit on (unless the person doing it is being creepy about it)it boosts your self confidence and makes you feel good about yourself.
     
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  19. Ohh and for the record, if you are legitimately funny, that is also a big deal for chicks...but imo you can't learn to be funny, its really just something you either have or you don't...you have to be witty and have good timing and just know what to joke about.
     
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  20. This. Humor is THE biggest pantydropper there is. Confidence with a good sense of humor will usually get most women. Don’t be cocky, be confident. Be sure of yourself, but so sure that your full of shit. Flirting is fun even if there is no outcome. Sometimes it’s fun just to do it knowing that nothing comes from it
     
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