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Stoner Survival Kit: Your Guide To Not Being Ripped Off

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When you first begin smoking, the world of weed might seem pretty overwhelming at first. You’ll learn most of what you need to know as you go. Until then, here’s your guide to not being ripped off.

Be Chill With Your Dealer

Your dealer is your life force and you want to avoid pissing him or her off. Maintain a good relationship with them. That means don’t be too persistent when you are trying to pick up. Remember that your dealer is a person with their own life, which doesn’t revolve around you buying cannabis from them. If they say to call them in three hours, don’t call them three times in an hour. This is bad etiquette, and can also lead to both of you getting caught. Be respectful and they will be good to you. If your dealer wants you to come chill sometime, you should take them up on this offer. Also important is not overstaying your welcome. You don’t want to be a lingerer.

Have Your Own Scale

If it’s pretty obvious that you are a novice, some dealers might try to get away with selling you a lighter bag. Most people that I’ve dealt with consider this to be an ultimate breach in stoner etiquette and won’t pull this trick, but it does happen, especially if you’re not chill with your dealer (see above). You should definitely get your own scale, if you are going through a person who insists that they know how to eyeball. This is especially important if you are buying in quantity

Ask Questions

If you are new to the market and not sure what you are buying, ask questions. This will make you seem like you want to learn about the process. If you’re not sure how much should be in a single, ask. When they are weighing it out, ask to see what the scale reads. Tell them you’re curious and trying to be the most responsible smoker you can be. This is better than staying silent. They will assume you don’t really care.

Pay Them On Time

If you are at the point in your relationship with your dealer, where they allow you to front make sure you pay them on time! Your dealer is showing that they trust you and it is your responsibility to maintain that trust. If you say that you will pay them next Tuesday, you’d better pay them on Tuesday ASAP. Unpaid fronts fall on your dealer and making them pay out of their own pocket will piss them off and ruin your relationship. On the same subject, make sure that you have your money when you go to pick up, especially if you’re just starting out with this person. Don’t try to pull the “Oh, I’m short five dollars, can you spot me just this once,” trick, unless you have a good rapport with your dealer. If you find that you are short, don’t let it happen again. Lastly, pay with large bills, and never pay with change.

Learn How To Spot Fake Cannabis

I really hope no one pulls this anymore because it is the biggest dick move in the stoner world. Shady dealers might try to sell you oregano mixed with a bit of honey to make it stick together. I’ve seen people try to sell novices catnip. Luckily, both are easy to spot and are recognizable by their smell. Now that synthetic cannabis (aka spice or K2) is around someone might try to trick you with that. Learn how to recognize the appearance and smell of the real deal.

Hopefully you never have to deal with someone who is trying to rip you off, but some people are jerks and will try to regardless. If you do end up getting ripped off, then you’ll know what to look for next time. You’ll also know it’s time to find a new dealer.

Featured Image Source: (Pineapple Express Movie)

Do you have any advice for novices? Let us know in the comments!