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How To Be A Functioning Stoner

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Being a stoner comes with certain connotations and assumptions from the people around you. The stigma of the lazy stoner still exists and can inhibit a stoner’s ability to exist out in the world. Now I’m sure part of the problem there stems from the fact that cannabis is still for the large part illegal, and people simply don’t know any better. However I do also believe that cannabis gives me eyes red as cherries and it takes me a little bit longer to order my fast food when I’m baked, so I can still see how stoners didn’t get that reputation for nothing. Now’s the time to fight back against this and show the world what stoners can really do!

1. Moderation and Self-Control

The most important distinction between a stoner who never escapes the couch and the ‘functional stoner’ is your ability to control yourself and enjoy cannabis responsibly. I don’t believe there’s any set rule of what responsible cannabis use is, so the best advice I can give you is to just know thyself, and define what moderation means to you. I’m not lying when I tell you I frequent the herb on a daily basis, but I still choose to come to work sober, not only because it’s frowned upon, but because I’m better at my job sober. So find out what makes you feel comfortable, but still lets you take care of all your responsibilities.

2. Be Social

One of the most important things that any person must do in life is socialize, but it’s even more important for stoners. It’s easy to get caught up in smoking your Netflix cave and forgetting about the outside world for a few days, but it’s not something I recommend making a habit of doing. You still need to get out there, and experience the world! Don’t get me wrong, even I will disappear for a few days on occasion to binge through show after show on Netflix, but afterwards I shower and plan a few activities that well get me out into the world, even if it’s going to see a movie or taking a friend to dinner.

3. Outside Interests

Cannabis is awesome, there’s no denying that. I don’t even mean just smoking it, I mean everything about it. The science behind the herb’s effects, the history of farming and cultivating the herb, I even love the different smell that accompanies each smell. It’s fairly easy to get caught up in cannabis and let it become much more than just a habit, but it’s important to maintain interests outside than just exploring the capabilities of cannabis. Get outside, take up knitting, it really doesn’t matter so long as you’re doing something to expand your horizons and hanging out with your friends outside of a smoke circle.

4. Buying Bulk

Not only is buying in bulk a smarter idea to save money in the long run, it also will reduce the amount of time you’ll spend driving back and forth between home and your connection. It helps yourself even more if you give yourself a monthly limit to follow so it helps you stretch your bud use to last as long as possible.

5. Good Eye Drops or Cologne

Eye drops or cologne will make the ultimate difference when trying to head out into the world for a stoned adventure. Although cannabis legalization is spreading across the globe, the world may still not be ready to face millions of stoners with red eyes walking in the streets, but at the same time, who cares? So if you feel like eye drops or cologne will help you feel more comfortable out in the world I encourage it, however you’re also more than welcome to wear those red-eyes with pride and strut the streets!

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How did you become a ‘functional stoner?’ Or do you not believe in such a thing? Share your thoughts in the comments!