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9 Hilarious Habits Of The Dankrupt Stoner

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When you’re dankrupt and want to get baked, you have to get pretty creative sometimes. Some things are not so bad like scraping kief and collecting old shake. Others are pretty damn desperate, but you can’t argue with the results when they get you baked.

Smoking Stems

I did this once when I was really desperate. I’d been saving my stems for a year because I was going to make a green dragon, but I needed to get stoned so I crushed them up and smoked them. It got me high for a little bit and then I got a headache. If you’re truly desperate, this will work, but you might hate yourself afterward.

Paying In Pennies

I never did this, because it’s bad stoner etiquette, but I knew someone who used to pay his hook-up in pennies because that was all he had. Needless to say the dude was more than a little irritated and ended up getting cut off. If you’re going to pay in pennies (which you should not do) , at least roll them first.

Smoking Vaped Bud

Smoking already vaped bud tastes a lot like smoking burnt popcorn, but it can work. As far as things dankrupt stoners do, it’s not the bottom of the barrel. You’re not going to get that much out of it since you’ve already vaped most of the THC out of it, but it’s better than nothing right?

Making A Giant Resin Ball

In my early stoner days I used to buy ounces of dirt weed for real cheap. Then I would scrape all the resin from my pieces and add it to a giant resin ball. When I was desperate I would just smoke from my giant resin ball. It got to be a little smaller than a tennis ball and then one of my roommates stole it. I didn’t bitch about it because I figured he was more desperate than I was to get to the point of stealing my resin ball. Some of the resin in there was old as hell, so I’m sure it tasted worse than resin normally does.

Drinking Bong Water

Drinking bong or bubbler water is something only for the truly desperate dankrupt stoner. I’ve never known anyone who was able to drink bong water without projectile vomiting all over the place. I don’t care how desperate you are, you should never drink bong water.

Smoking Cashed Bowls

I used to save my cashed bowls and leftovers from knife-hits in a big ashtray for those times I was jonesing. If I didn’t have any resin to smoke I would comb the ashtray looking for partially smoked buds. It tasted horrible, but it got me super baked.

Smoking Resinated Paper From Roaches

I don’t mean smoking old roaches, I mean smoking the paper from the roaches. The weed from the roaches was already long gone, but I saved the paper because I knew that I would be desperate. I got more stoned than I thought I would, but I was still essentially smoking paper. Probably not the best decision I ever made.

Scraping Old Bags For Kief

I used to save all of my old bags in one of those small round fish bowls. I ended up with somewhere around 300 bags. When I was dankrupt, I would scrape the kief from these bags using a razor blade. I managed to get a good few good bowls from the kief and shake from those bags.

Scouring The Carpet For Dropped Buds

We’ve all done this one. It’s like a little bud treasure hunt. Just make sure that you’re not smoking bits of carpet lint or pet hair in there. One time I was with a friend in her garage and we were de-stemming and de-seeding some dirt weed for a joint. One of us dropped the bud tray and we lost it to the old carpet in her garage. Since this was the only herb we had, we spent a little over two hours picking bits out of that old carpet. The joint we rolled with it tasted like dirt, as I’m pretty sure some dirt ended up in there. We still got really baked though.

Dankrupt stoners do some pretty desperate, yet effective things when they want to get baked. Smoking things like giant resin balls and old roaches really make you appreciate dank bud when you’re rolling in it, though.

Featured Image Source: TheChillBud.com

What’s the most desperate thing you’ve done when you’ve been dankrupt? Share in the comments!

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