Stoners come in all different shapes and sizes and from all different walks of life. Stoner chicks are no different. You’ll probably end up dating all of these girls at some point in your lifetime.
The Giggly Sorority Girl
The giggly sorority girl just started smoking weed, so she hasn’t quite built up a tolerance yet. This is why she’s always giggling. She’s majoring in Communications because she thought it would be super easy. At first people like to be around the giggly stoner girl because she’s cute and she makes everyone laugh, but her shtick gets old pretty fast. She doesn’t buy her own weed and relies on others to smoke her out. She’ll dump you as soon as she figures out that you’re catching onto her shit.
The hippie started off as the girl you were buying your weed from, then one day she made a move on you after you’d finished smoking a joint together. She just wants everyone in the world to smoke weed together, and is constantly saying things like “Why can’t we all just get a bong?” She’s usually dressed head to toe in hemp. You come away from her house feeling more at peace with yourself and reeking of incense. She’ll eventually break up with you because she “doesn’t want to be tied down.” You can still buy weed from her though.
She’s similar to the hippie, but don’t you dare confuse the two. She wears lots of bright colors and her clothes are usually covered in paint, clay, and other types of mediums. She’s always asking you for help with her performance art piece. Her parents foot the bill for her lifestyle, so she feels no need to get a job. She’s pretty sarcastic, so people often think that she’s a bitch, but she’s really pretty vulnerable underneath the hard veneer. She’ll dump you for that hot female barista at the coffee shop by her apartment.
The High Achiever
This girl has her shit figured out. She has her career all mapped out, she wants to be married and pregnant by the time she’s thirty. On the surface she seems pretty self-absorbed, but what others don’t know is that this girl loves to party. She says that she smokes weed because it helps her focus, but it’s because smoking weed is the only thing that makes her feel happy. She keeps promising to introduce you to her parents, but she never does. Eventually she’ll break it off to date a guy who better fits her five year plan.
The Super Chill One
This girl can smoke everyone you know under the table. Her ideal date is cuddling on the couch with you and a bag. She’s funnier than you, and that makes you just the tiniest bit insecure. She’s just the right mix of girlie girl and tomboy. She’s really insecure about her looks, despite being the prettiest girl you know. If you decide to get married, she’s the girl that you’ll eventually marry. If you’re lucky enough to get this girl, hold onto her.
Women are like strains of herb, meaning that they’re all pretty different (and they cost you a lot of money, haha just kidding!). Full disclosure, I am a woman, so I know a bit about what I’m talking about. Stoner chicks are super dope for the most part. I definitely prefer them to drunk girls. How do you know when you find the stoner chick of your dreams, you ask? It’s like finding that perfect pipe, you’ll just know man.
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Have you dated one of these stoner chicks? Are you one of these stoner chicks? Share in the comments!