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10 Heartbreaks Only Stoners Know

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Sometimes stoners have to deal with unique problems that others don’t have to experience. These heartbreaks have all happened to us at one point. It sucks when these things do happen but that’s just life, man.

Breaking Your Favorite Pipe

Breaking your favorite pipe is enough to ruin any stoner’s day. Even if you have other pieces, losing your favorite pipe is like losing one of your best friends. Of course, it’s even worse if you break the only pipe you have. Then it’s time to MacGuyver something together until you can get a new one.

Sucking A Cashed Bowl Into Your Mouth

A minor heartbreak to be sure, but a heartbreak nonetheless. Sucking a cashed bowl into your mouth tastes gross, and it makes you hack up a lung. Along the same lines, is sucking a half smoked bowl through. This is why it’s nice to have a good screen.

Coughing ‘Til You Puke

A heartbreak that you were probably more familiar with in your greenhorn days: taking a giant rip off of a bong and then hacking until you threw up. Puking sucks and no one likes to do it. Sometimes it can completely ruin your high, and puking in front of a group is super awkward.

Dropping A Freshly Loaded Bowl

Is there anything more frustrating for a stoner than dropping a freshly loaded bowl onto the carpet? What about saving up your kief for weeks and loading it all up, only to lose it all? It’s enough to make you cry. Luckily you can salvage a dropped bowl with a vacuum cleaner and a sock, but you’re also likely to get some lint and pet hair in there too.

Running Out Of Weed

Running out of weed is a temporary heartbreak, one which is hopefully remedied pretty quickly. When you run out and know that you’re not going to be able to re-up for a few days then life gets pretty rough.

When Someone Drools All Over The Joint

I hate it when people do this. It’s not a popsicle people, so don’t treat it like one. Unless I’m dating you, I don’t want to taste your spit. There’s ways to avoid this, don’t take a drink before it’s your turn to hit the joint and don’t deep throat it. Easy-peasy.

Having Cottonmouth And Nothing To Drink

Sometimes this is easily fixable, other times not so much. Say you just smoked and you’re out running errands and you just realized you have no water or liquids of any kind in the car. The worst is when you’re on a road trip and there’s no convenient place to stop for a while. This is why you should always be prepared.

Living Somewhere Herb Isn’t Legal

Living somewhere where herb isn’t legal is a heartbreak that many of us deal with on a daily basis. Especially if you live in a deeply right wing state or country where cannabis isn’t likely to be legal anytime in your lifetime. Living in places like this makes the life of a stoner much more complicated and inconvenient, not to mention dangerous.

Forgetting Where You Hid Your Stash

Stoners are great at hiding their stash, but sometimes we do such a good job that we forget our amazing hiding place. Then you have to tear apart your room until you find it. On the plus side, you might find other things that you didn’t realize you’d misplaced during your search.

Not Having A Lighter

This happens to all of us at one point and time, usually because someone jacked our lighter. If you’re with a group of people, chances are at least one of them has a lighter. If you’re by yourself and you find yourself without a lighter then things get a little more complicated. Luckily, there are ways to smoke without a lighter if you’re in a situation where you can’t easily obtain one.

It sucks when these things happen. Breaking your favorite pipe is like losing a member of your family. Forgetting where you hid your stash is lame, but you can pretend it’s a treasure hunt. Some of these we can laugh about later. Others, like living in an anti-cannabis state are the bane of our existence. Just live and let live.

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We’ve all been there! What stoner heartbreaks have you dealt with? Share in the comments!