One of the hardest things about picking up a new activity or starting a new job is trying to the hang of the various jargon and quirks that are specific to that demographic. This can be made even harder by the fact that such jargon and quirks aren’t usually pointed out in obvious manners, people have to pick them up on their own. Being a stoner is similar in a lot of ways, practically having as many customs as any culture, and this list is just the beginning!
1. Do: Left is Law
This rule is the first not only because it is one of the first rules you should ever learn about stoners, but because it is also one of the most widely acknowledged. I can’t personally vouch for the origin of the term, but I do know in almost every smoke circle I’ve been in the inherent direction we passed the bong was left.
2. Don’t: Tell random people who you get your bud from
Since the world is still in a climate that doesn’t totally condone cannabis use yet, there still requires a touch of secrecy as a stoner. Something that’s important to be aware of, especially if you live in a country or state that cannabis use is still illegal, is that telling people about your cannabis use should still be considered a symbol of trust. Weed is in the world spotlight now, sure, but many tokers still would rather be a part of the “Secret Society of Stoners.” This also leads to another piece of courtesy that’s just as important as being private with your cannabis use, never (repeat: NEVER) tell someone else the people you know who is involved with cannabis, you may not know how they feel about their name being thrown around int he context.
3. Do: Return the favor
Much of stoner courtesy relies on this simple ideal. Of course you might argue that this is general courtesy, stoners are actually fairly dedicated to this ideal in my experience, more so than most others. This idea usually means simply smoking those down whom had previously smoked you out, however you’ll also find that smoking people out is the usual payment for most favors in the stoner community.
4. Don’t: Show up expecting to be smoked out
There’s nothing more obnoxious than that one friend who only hits you up because they know you have bud. Although, yeah, smoking cannabis with your bros is fun, it shouldn’t be the only reason you spend time with that friend. Also, it’s fairly obvious if you’re only interested in a person’s bud hookup, so just don’t be that guy, okay?
5. Do: Share
Cannabis is a herb that opens up you up to the world around you, but only if you’re willing to let it. Sometimes this means meeting the world halfway, and giving something to be able to get back. The same idea applies whenever you hang out with a couple friends and want to light up. Don’t be selfish and assume everyone else will just throw in, it’s important that you’re playing your part. Even if you just give a friend some cash for his contribution, or provide every couple meets, you’re much better off than just showing up expecting to be smoked out. Of course you might not be able to provide every time, and that’s totally cool, you may find that your generosity doesn’t go unrewarded!
6. Don’t: Take a hit without being offered
I used to have a friend that I would hang out with infrequently who would do this, and it always annoyed the shit out of me. We would be hanging out, playing video games, I’d load a bowl then go to refill my water or something, and when I’d come back he’d be sitting there, ripping it. He never looked embarrassed, he just gave me a “What are you gonna do?” look. But after that happening almost half a dozen times, I can tell you what I didn’t do: invite him back over. Just be patient, the bud isn’t going anywhere.
7. Do: Guests Get Greens
Now this is a piece of courtesy that I’ve actually seen quite a bit of debate on. Whenever I host, I like to make sure my guests get greens, simply because a host ought to be generous to their guests. However I have also heard a few reports stating that the first hit ought to go to whoever loaded the most into the bowl, and that supersedes the host/guest rule. Personally,I don’t think it matters so long as you’re aware of both options and are willing to work with both!
8. Don’t: Make a scene every time you see the cops
Every Greenhorn stoner makes a big fuss about seeing the cops whilst blazed. The first thing you should always remember is that if the cops see you making a big deal about them, or suspect that you’re overly anxious, they’ll be looking for the reason why. Whenever you see police, just remember to stay calm, be cool, and if comes to the point that you must actually converse with a police officer, treat them like a human being and breathe. If you’re in a state like Oregon or Washington, you really have nothing to worry about when seeing the police, but regardless of what state or country you’re in, it’s still always a good idea to not flaunt your pot smoking.
9. Do: Corner the bowl
Cornering the bowl is the act of lighting only the edges of the bowl. After a few good corner-hits you should end up with a black outer-ring outside of a green, clean, center. Cornering the bowl is an important skill for multiple reasons. Firstly, when you first start toking, it can be easy to loose control of the fire and torch the bowl, leading to a massive hit you’re not ready for. Cornering helps you control how much of a hit you want. It also is courteous for the purpose of toking with friends, by cornering, you’re maximizing the amount of times you and your buddy will be able to hit the greens, which as everyone knows are the smoothest, and best tasting, rips.
10. Don’t: Pester your friends and connections for bud
It’s never fun to be out of the greens, but it’s also not fun having your phone blown up by people looking for the green. It’s totally fine to throw out a few texts to test the waters, but don’t text-bomb someone just because they’re taking more than thirty minutes to respond to you, because nothing says “Hey I really don’t want a hookup” like texting your connection 10 times within a 45-minute period.
Featured Image Source: TheNug.com
This is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to stoner culture, what other pieces of stoner courtesy would you say is essential? Let us know in the comments!